adolescence

(Down the road from your memory track 4)

it seems you’ve got it in for me

you say i can’t remember how to act

my vision twisted    out of whack

you ask me where i’ve been

hiding at               i couldn’t believe

                        you had to ask

                             mommy 

i’ve been where we used to go

between the nurse log and the stepping stones

that go out into the river

i like to sit there and watch the current 

pass and remember the stories 

of the constellations you relayed

                                   when you taught me

                                    to be brave

                                that all we needed 

                                  was each other

you’re an idiot ma 

open your mouth and misfortune comes out

like smoke billowing from mountain tops

i’m not acting like this is a war

but maybe it’s a battle

                         horses trampling

                            a summer meadow

beware that lightning may strike

i know damn it  i look both ways

but i won’t be a woman

who cages her lion

while gravity still pulls us down

and fate keeps chugging like

                              a trolly car

                       whose wheels

                             never stop

sweet lady you’re blowing idiot wind

every time you open your mouth

disturbing the peace and quiet

shooting through my head like a star

every time i crawl past your door

the borderline between me and you

                                      is guarded 

                               by some howling 

                                        beast

i’m hounded by so many

memories of passing towns

and the way you’ve always loved me

unconditionally despite knowing why

but not how i hurt

                             idiot wind

                            stirring dust in 

                        the library

where we keep all the letters

we wrote        it’s been so long since

we read them      we’re idiots mama

but i’m grateful

because we eddy and wind

 rolling down the backgrounds

like so many drops

of paint rolling down the 

backroads    heading out

                              we eddy and wind

                      like the nile

                          when our stars aligned